A friend sent me some of the poems I wrote in my drinking days...they are stupid but they need to be published...

Oh lucky lottery ticket.

I bought a lucky lottery ticket
On my way to work
I got out my lucky dime
And scratched with a hopeful jerk.

The numbers are revealed
Slowly at first
I scratch faster now
Trying to quench my money thirst.

If three numbers match
Or if mine beats theirs
I will win the big bucks
Or money for years.

The ticket is cleared
And the numbers are not a match.
So into the trash can
Goes the whole darn batch.

I wanted a winning ticket
But I didn't win this time.
It couldn't be my fault
Maybe its my now UN-Lucky dime.

Staple puller
We got a staple puller
It sits upon the desk
It pulls the staples
Of this I do not jest.

It has two words
Typed in it side
One says Taiwan
Safina on the other side.

It does a good job
Most of the time.
Occasionally it will hang
Only pulling one side.

The uses of this simple tool
Are certainly unbound
You can squeeze it real fast
And it makes a squeaky sound.

I love this handy tool
As you may see
and if I ever quit
I am taking it with me.